KondoMom.

Okay, show of hands, who has watched this Tidying Up with Marie Kondo show on Netflix?

Yes, me too. Just episode one, so far. And aside from deciding I have to thank everything in my garage before putting it in contractor bags, and that bag of salad that I bought over a week ago with my grocery store good intentions, here’s what I gathered:

This. Poor. Mama.

I realize that what I’m about to say is a mating call that will attract all the Sanctimommies in a ten mile radius, telling me that she is a (mostly) SAHM that should be able to do her own laundry, but Girlfriend is riding the Mama struggle bus and haven’t we all been her?

I triple dog dare you to tell me that you’ve never uttered the words “it’s just a lot” with tears in your eyes and pain in your heart over the adjustments of life post children.

Please. I think I did that when I first became responsible for paying my own bills, grocery shopping without buying just fruit snacks and bottles of water, and not looking like a bird did my hair when I went to work. I thought THAT was a lot. And it WAS.

But, this Mama. More than once, she says, “I just don’t know how…”, “It’s just a lot…”, and “Well, the kids…” She was basically profusely apologizing for feeling like this season of life was a lot. And while it’s easy to look at the situation on paper, and think there has to be a way for one to get a handle on life – it IS a freaking lot. And I just want to pause there and legitimize that for a second.

Sometimes, I am crushed under the weight of “a lot”. My dishwasher and laundry are going 300% of the time (washer is going 350% because I am washing the same load for the fourth time since I forgot to switch it again), I am trying to grocery shop/feed humans/get work done, Harper is making her 837th homemade card/small note/book of computer paper stapled together (HEAVEN HELP ALL THE SHREDS OF PAPER), and Nora is offering veterinarian care to her stuffed animals (on every single surface of comfort in this house, because of course we need stuffies on each individual shelf in the linen closet).

And those are the weekends. We can save the chaos that is being a partially WAHM for another spin cycle.

And sometimes, at the end of that day – I don’t have a clue what the heck I did or where the time went or why I couldn’t accomplish more. It’s just a thing. And for a second, I wonder what I’m doing wrong that that’s the case. And most of the time, I am staying up into ungodly hours to finish what’s left.

It is a beautiful, blessed, magical life. But it’s a lot. And it’s allowed to feel like a lot.

If you are feeling guilty about feeling like your beautiful life is a lot – I’m going to ask you to thank that guilt nicely – and then get rid of it.

Because there isn’t room for guilt in this season of life. And we both know it doesn’t bring you joy.

This season is hard. Most seasons of life have their own particular brand of difficult. What we aren’t going to be all about, is feeling shameful or guilty about having feelings about the fact that it’s difficult.

Knowing your life is a blessing, and feeling like it’s an overwhelming bundle of difficult can be simultaneous feelings.

Give yourself permission to guiltlessly recognize that this season of life is a HUGE transition. You went from being two adults (or kind of adults, can I get an AMEN?), to multiple humans who have a million accessories just to function and likely no fluency in the language of organization. Stuff is everywhere. It is loud. And, for the love, why is something constantly spilled on the floor?

Breathe. Know that this season is beautiful, AND STILL A LOT. And don’t let a single person hand you the lie that it’s not allowed to be.

I wanted to take this Mama’s sweet face in my hands and tell her that it’s okay. That it is a lot. That it feels heavy and exhausting and messy. That life is different now, and it’s hard. And systems of organization aren’t a strength for everyone, or even something everyone is interested in or feels capable of. AND THAT’S FINE RIGHT THIS MINUTE. We can Kondo another time. Or not.

But I don’t know her, so I can’t. But I do know you.

So – this season of life is allowed to be overwhelming and exhausting. You have likely never been this needed before by small humans that rely on you for their existence. You have never been asked to be responsible for this much. This many plates have never been in the air, and you are a juggler with literally zero training.

We do not routinely send people into jobs they aren’t trained in and then scrutinize every single thing that they don’t do the way we would – but people do this to moms. all. the. time.

Don’t make guilt a plate you are juggling.

Don’t make shame a plate you are juggling.

Don’t make hypothetical (or literal) expectations of others a plate you are juggling.

This season is a lot. And you are absolutely okay for feeling the weight of that.

Thank the other feelings and toss them in the garbage – they aren’t serving you anymore.