Enough.

Ya’ll, I’ve been tired lately. Like in my bones tired. Do you know that feeling? That one where your mind is basically running marathons all day without the refreshment of adorable cheerleaders with tiny water cups? I’m there, friend.

I’ve been working that hustle recently, more so than usual. A little more work project, a little less sleep. A little more stress, a little less peace. A little more computer time, a little less snuggle. And if I’m being honest – sometimes I get caught up in the worthiness that I’m trying to prove by the hustle.

Am I doing all of the things because they need to get done? Well, most of them should, I guess? But am I really doing them because I believe that the doing makes me a worthwhile human? Whoomp, there it is.

I love the feeling of accomplishment. (Ya know that SNL skit with Stuart? “Look what I can do”?) I am a to-do list keeper that writes things down to check them off when I go above and beyond the list. It is okay to want to get things done. Challenge accepted! But the worthiness leap? That’s where my list gets dicey.

Worthiness is not something you do, it’s what you are. And not “when (insert goal) happens” – right now.

Sometimes I confuse accomplished and worthy. Accomplished is good, honestly. It’s a great feeling and it’s necessary to be a total boss in your own life. But the worthy is where I lose focus, sometimes. Worthy of feeling like I’m good enough IF I can do enough, IF I can be enough. If I just work harder, faster, longer, better, more. And sometimes, in the running, I run myself into the ground. And down there? I’m exhausted.

Accomplished can be energizing. Hustling for worthiness, though? Downright exhausting.

The other night, Harper snuggled into my lap after I collapsed on the couch to be a little mindless for the first time in days. She was having a hard time calming down before bed, so I sang quietly to her (maybe more for me than her) and she wrapped her arms around mine. There was no hustle, no accomplishment on paper, no box to check.

And man, did I feel valuable. That sweet girl does not expect me to adhere to a list of expectations before I hold value to her. In fact, she’s much happier with the me that comes without my list. My girl was best loved by her exhausted Mama’s body intertwined with hers, singing for a one person audience.

They just want you, Mama.

Not when you’ve done all the things, not when you’ve lost the weight, not when you’ve attained this status/goal/position at work. Just YOU. In your sometimes smelly, bloodshot exhausted eyeball, bone tired state.

All of the things are, well, things. They need to be done (do they, though?). But, know that your worth doesn’t rely on those check marks.

Your worth is not found on the to do list. It’s not in the “when this…then that.”

I needed the reminder this week that I am valuable and worthy – as is. Just sitting, on the couch, exhausted, was enough. Just, I, me, was enough.

So here’s your reminder: Deep inhale. You are already enough. Exhale.

Put down the list.

Step off the scale.

Slow down your hustle for just a minute to really figure out what you’re doing it for.

If you are hustling for value – Sister, I see you.

You are worthy, and worthwhile, and valuable. Right now.